Thursday, July 11, 2013

I didn't...but I did.

I do not breast feed my son, but I sure did try! I pumped but he was a hungry little fellow and I couldn't pump long because I could only do one at a time, and he would eat that up so quickly! I had to stop. In the hospital he wouldn't latch on. When he did, he would fall asleep after two sucks. Than wonder why he was hungry. I had to give him a bottle or he would had starved.

But I do co-sleep (he sleeps in his crib in my room but sometimes we bed share), wear him (when he lets, cloth diaper, plan on extended rear facing, and he wears amber.

I don't prop his bottle. He hold him each time he eats, even if he's sitting next to me. If I'm not, he is holding the bottle. The bottle is in somebody's hand when he eats.

I feed him on demand. When he wants food, I give it to him. I do less him fuss/whine but not when he is full on crying. People say "it's good for his lungs". But it's not good for my heart to hear him cry like that. Even if he wants to be held, I try my best to give it to him. Sometimes, it's as simple as a change of clothes.

I honestly hating looking at "natural" blogs because they all promote breastfeeding. I am for it, but I feel so guilty I couldn't. I know I shouldn't and some days I am glad (like when I don't need to pump but have formula for "daycare"). It still makes me feel guilty about not being able to past 3 weeks and not 2 years.

But I hate reading "mainstream" blogs because they want the baby to sleep in another room, feed on schedule, push in a stroller all the time, and not always give into cries. I am not like that. I have always been a mom who loves to hold her little one. Not one for "convenience".

I am in a tough spot because I am partly one side, but mostly the other side, but not the "main" part. It makes it hard when you look at a "natural" magazine and it's 90% breastfeeding. I wish people would see and makes things for more people like me.

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